As if President Obama didn’t have enough problems to deal with, a new war has erupted — this time in his own basement! A White House cockroach invasion of the basement press facilities has turned the offices of the Fourth Estate into a battleground.

On one side is a cockroach “the size of a small drone,” according to Martha Kumar, a Towson University professor who has been studying president-press relations for nearly four decades and is an experienced soldier in the periodic White House pest wars. Facing off against the roach brigade is a desultory press corps led by a few determined hunters like Kumar.

So far the cockroaches seem to be winning the war. The wily insects handily escaped their attackers in several hard-fought skirmishes. The embattled reporters have appealed to the General Services Administration for aid; but so far the GSA has been reluctant to escalate the conflict by arming the reporters with more advanced pest control weapons. Reporters have been reduced to fighting the cockroach invasion with spiked heels and leather-soled loafers.

We can understand the GSA’s concern. To protect human health and safety, professional-grade pest control products should only be applied by experienced, well-trained, licensed pest control professionals like the commercial roach extermination experts at Stern Environmental. Don’t let roaches invade your business; call Stern today!